No, seriously, you are a huge part of it. Working with foster dogs, who have lost their original families, I notice a rather persistent trend. Dogs, who get that fresh chance at life, try to do everything in their power to be good, do right and take their behavior cues from their new owners without second thought. Sounds like a dream? Not quite.
Most of us can only imagine the traumas and challenges our newly adopted canines have lived through before they met us, and like most warm blooded humans, we selfishly believe that we can love all the hunger, abuse, loneliness and plain horror out of their precious little souls. We believe we can achieve things in our own human way. This very conviction is the main reason why you see so many dogs suffering from its consequances. Human love comes in many shapes, so for some dogs it looks like heaps and heaps of dry kibbles and for others it ends up being oodles of knitted tutti-frutti hats and sweaters. Then, there are those of us who think that we can hug their troubles away. Dogs are treated like plush toys, squeezed and kissed on a whim be it at a dinner table or in moving vehicles. There are even those of us who claim parental rights naming them our furry “children” in multimillion dollar wills, while refusing to take even one vacation day for years, out of fear that being away would destabilize and ruin their fragile canine psyches.

We humans are one stubborn lot, so we stubbornly believe that loving methods that work on human children must work same wonders on our four-legged furballs. Therein lies the problem. Loving and cherishing dogs is exactly what they need. However, dogs are animals, not humans, so to truly understand what kind of feedback they really need from their owners, look no further than a wild pack of wolves. Heck, just look at how regular domesticated dogs behave with one another when they are in bands of 3 or more.
Do they bring biscuits to the one dog that appears to stress out? Not really. Do they embrace the anxious puppy every chance they get? And most importantly, do other dogs soothe the barker, because it’s obviously overwhelmed? The answer is simple: not a chance.
Do they bring biscuits to the one dog that appears to stress out? Not really. Do they embrace the anxious puppy every chance they get? And most importantly, do other dogs soothe the barker, because it’s obviously overwhelmed? The answer is simple: not a chance.
Dogs are extremely social animals, who live in hierarchical packs of two or more. Belonging to such pack or a family ensures survival, companionship and food. Keep that in mind as you imagine the following scenario. A puppy is whining loudly while the pack is trying to remain undetected by predators in the wild. Does its mother: A) lick and touch the puppy until it soothes into comfortable silence or B) does she reprimand that same puppy for its pack-endangering behavior by lightly biting its butt or the gruff on its neck? The answer is always and inevitably: B! So, which one, do you think, the puppy is hard-wired to respond to when it’s freaking out in your house at about three o’clock in the morning? Um, you get the picture.
I am not advocating your biting your dog’s behind, but as someone who has now worked with over 40 insecure, scared, territorial, barking, etc. dogs – I can tell you that lovingly soothing bad behavior only ingrains it into your dog’s mind.
